What do women want?

I am an emotional woman. Is that a cliche? I don’t even care.

I know that I am driven by the seasons and my mood depends on the weather, like 100%.

If you ask me what’s my favorite three activities, I’d say women’s massage, sunning myself, and playing in the waves at the beach. I’m a simple girl.

My favorite time of year is late Spring and early Summer. I can live in this time forever. I wait all year for this. Early June is the best. I love the thunderstorms we have, when it gets really humid and then finally pours. It’s exhilarating.

Back to the massage thing. I can go for a massage any time. I prefer in-home massage but I’ll take a massage at a day spa over none at all. I don’t care if my therapist is old, young, thin, heavy, man, woman. I’ve had massages from every possible combination. I think women make better massage therapists, generally, but then I have had a few guys who defy the stereotype. It’s all about empathy.

I live for this time of year. Sad thing is, it’s gone so quickly. I’ve never met another person who feels this way. No, I don’t have a mood disorder. I am just very into the moment, and always have been. After all, what beats going outside without a jacket, perfect temperature, just having that feeling of NOW-ness?

The flowers are blooming, the trees are growing, everything is so alive. I’ve actually had massages outside. It was great. Except the times it was too muggy. That’s another advantage of in-home massage. You can request that the therapist does the session in your garage, basement, pool patio, or just about anywhere. Get creative and insist on the attic.

I just hate sweating. And, in New Jersey, no massuesse is going to be OK with you taking off the sheet. I think it’s actually a law. I envy men when can pull it down to their waist. I would do that, but in our oversexualized society, this might be misinterpreted. No, it will be misinterpreted, even by women. And the last thing I want is some LMT telling me the session is over because I did something inappropriate.

Women’s massage is a tricky subject. I think most people who go for massages are men. Maybe not. Just my hunch. I think if you’re female, it’s interpreted as decadence. Like you are some lazy lout. But if you’re a guy, it’s because you worked too hard, have muscle pain from working out and lifting weights. You get the idea. Sexism exists even in this realm.

My best massage? It was not at the spa. It was a massage at home. The therapist was a dude named Jeff. He looked puny, like the wind could blow him over. But man, did he have some strong hands. I guess we always say that, but really, it’s more than hands. I guess his arms were strong, but they looked like little twigs hanging at his sides. I remember when he rang the bell, I was expecting the woman I had used the previous three times.

I was about to tell him that I was my roommate and the girl who ordered the massage had gone out for the day. But that would have been too rude. It’s not like I am biased against men, but usually they just act so weird. And for me, it’s also the empathic quality of a massage practitioner that matters most, and guys tend to be less empathic. I don’t care if you think I’m sexist. It’s been my experience.

I am bisexual and I find that women are more emotional, overall. Dating guys is such a rote matter. I mean, I am mostly straight, but in college I kissed a few friends after drinking and dares. Still, I say I’m bi. I don’t think a relationship with a woman is what I’m seeking, though. I wish that the guys I date had the kind of empathy that this therapist had. Usually guys are afraid to express emotions. I don’t know if they don’t have them or they just feel embarrassed to show them.

I do know that most of my friends that are female will not get a massage by a male. That must really suck for their income. Massage for women is probably the last place where we’re allowed to be totally sexist. I can’t imagine telling a clinic I only want to be treated by a female physician. I know if you’re like a devout Muslim then you probably have a good reason.

I know this blog was all over the place and you probably think I’m off the wall, but it was just stream of consciousness.

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